Orders staying pending and nit sending notify email as confirmed

[lostpanther]

I am having an issue where a buyer is directed to the thankyou page but the product is still in the cart, we dont see an invoice and the ordet stays as pending!

In virtuemart I have set up the paypal to standard paypal, set succesful transactions to - confirmed.
and set default order status's

I have been into paypal and set the IPN to

http://beauty.capitalhosting.co.uk/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&view=pluginresponse&task=pluginresponsereceived

I am not sure if this is right, how do i tell?

the vendors email is different to the  paypal account email .is this a problem i am not able to change it for some reason,

I was sure that it was something to do with the message coming back from paypal, If this is corrected will paypal just redirect to the customers invoice and the order set to confirmed automatically ?

I am using Virtuemart 2.0.24
And one page checkout by rupostel
There support told me im doing everything right
should an update help

I am a little stuck

Kindest Regards

Matt