We crossed the problem otherwise. I quit using drill down module, and I posted on the front page 3 main categories, and from there you can enter in those 7000+ categories gradually. In this way, the store is working great, and the backend too.
The cause was the module that require the database queries for all categories and products on front page and at every page load.
In this conditions i cannot say that is a virtuemart problem. The problem belongs to the modules designed to handle the categories.
(sorry from my bad english) and Thanks for posting!